The Internet has Killed Community!
My mum doesn’t understand Twitter.
Nor does she understand Facebook.
In fact, my mum has a hard time understanding the nature of the Internet, period. For her it is simply another research tool that she turns to if none of her books offer a solution.
She said to me recently, “I don’t understand why people spend so much time on the Internet chatting and sending messages to each other when there are real-life people they can be friends with. Local communities are breaking down because no one socialises with each other offline anymore.” (Mum is a church minister so she sees lonely, isolated people every single day).
I tried to explain that using the Internet does not make you unsociable. I still have friends in “real life” that I spend a lot of time with. I tried to explain the appeal of finding people online who share your interests and who “get” you. Most of my family and friends know about my online work, but hardly any of them really understand it. On the Internet I can hang out with people who understand the true geek girl inside me!
Mum did concede me that point, but she is still sceptical. She would rather be at a church barn dance than sitting in front of a computer. I would rather stick pins in my eyes than do-si-do with a bunch of pensioners! And when I talk about someone as a friend and then reveal it is someone I know from an online community that I have never met “in the flesh”, she isn’t the only one in my circle of family and friends who looks at me like I’m crazy.
I can understand Mum’s point about communities breaking down. If the old lady down the street gets sick and can’t get out of bed, who is going to notice if none of us talk to each other in real life? Actually, that happened in our street but thankfully, even though I live in a city, we are still pretty good at looking out for each other.
I don’t think the break down of communities is the fault of the Internet; there are just so many contributing factors, and to blame one aspect of modern life is short sighted. The people I communicate with online are almost all sociable, outgoing people who seem to have incredibly busy offline lives. Many of them are active in their churches, charities and their communities.
Even on the Internet, where we can’t see each other properly, like attracts like. The people who would annoy me offline are probably the same people who annoy me online. It’s impossible to social network and hide who you are – eventually the real you is going to shine through.
Anyway, I mention all this because I have noticed this week, more than ever, how supportive and strong the online community can be. I see people Twittering that they haven’t seen someone around for a while, and everyone using their contacts to find out what has happened to them; I see a friend back on Twitter who I haven’t heard from for a few weeks and feel so much better for knowing she is OK; I see folks rallying around to help charities; groups of people adding their voice to express disgust at something and MAKING A DIFFERENCE; appeals going out to help find missing or abducted children; positivity, support and concern all around.
Of course, with these great things also comes negativity, back-biting and moaning, but that’s real life. That’s what we see in our everyday lives too. Except online it is easier to turn those people off with the click of a mouse (oh how I long for an unfollow button in real life).
I have explained to my mum that the Internet is a reflection of society. We may find it difficult to talk to our next door neighbours for any number of reasons but, in general, humans are social beings who seek out kinship wherever they are. We thrive on communicating and sharing with others, especially those who have similar interests and beliefs. We seek out validation and respect for who we are and what we stand for.
That’s the future I see for the Internet as well, and especially for Internet Marketing. Increasingly, marketing online is becoming about nurturing communities. Slapping a long form sales letter on a website isn’t going to cut it with the average Internet user today. They want to know more about you, to be part of your circle (or to use the latest buzz word – part of your “tribe”) and to feel a connection and sense of affinity with you. They need to know they can trust you.
Beware the marketer who thinks he or she need only Twitter when a product launch is about to happen; who provides poor service and under delivers; who remains aloof, detached and unapproachable; who plans on making a quick buck and disappearing again.
At the risk of sounding mushy, I have the best friends and acquaintances both online and offline. You challenge my beliefs and thinking so I never become apathetic; you make me want to achieve more and encourage me to raise my game; you make me think harder, laugh louder and longer, and cry a bit too. So many times you have lifted me out of my grumpy moods. You remind me of what’s important in life but allow me to enjoy trivialities. Sometimes you annoy me or make me frustrated, but you seem to forgive me for my own flaws and weaknesses.
Start building your own community within your niche, listen to what they want, be yourself, and more will come…
Now, off to work on my mum again. Who knows, you may yet see the Reverend Marion Twittering!
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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I live in a different world to most people. I live in France.
There is community. I meet my French teacher in the supermarket and we kiss, ask each other how we are and how our family are. We care. A child who misbehaves gets a slap on the leg – perhaps that is why it is so nice to be in a restaurant with small children who know how to behave.
The community ran out of water a year or so ago and our farmer fitted us up with non drinkable water in the house from his well. Nothing asked for it, just the normal local kindness. I have only ever heard myself discussed as to where I live and how we have fitted in because they do not understand that I understand enough French.
In the winter my on-line life of friends is more important to me than off-line as I am unwell and the cold makes me literally hibernate. In the summer we have so many visitors that I don’t have time to fit it all in. I live in a place where people love to come and leave their cares behind. They can also see the Milky Way high above us if they stay sober long enough.
You are part of the community – it is up to you to make it what you want.
The article above was spoiled by the horrible comment on Twitter. Perhaps it is better if the the Reverend Marion does not read things like that. I presume she is over 60?
Love, not pins make the world go round, kisses in the supermarket between two women who are so glad to see each other makes it go round happily.
Di – The Fool On The Hill
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New blog post: The Internet has Killed Community! http://tinyurl.com/579rn4
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retweet: @SWBN New blog post: The Internet has Killed Community! http://tinyurl.com/579rn4
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“I would rather stick pins in my eyes than do-si-do with a bunch of pensioners!” http://tinyurl.com/579rn4
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Di, my apologies if you found the pins reference offensive. It is a figure of speech we use around here to simply refer to something we would hate doing. The Reverend Marion is indeed over 60 (don’t tell her I told you) but she wouldn’t be offended by what I wrote. She knows that I don’t mind a “social” and in fact enjoy chatting with ALL members of her congregation, but when it comes to church barn dances, tea dances, magic shows or skits I have little interest. On such occasions you will find me and my youngest sister sitting in a corner planning our escape before someone asks us to Gay Gordon with them ( and before anyone asks – it’s a dance)!
I think we create community around us wherever we feel most comfortable. I am blessed, like you, to have a wonderful community around me both online and offline (actually, that sounds a little arrogant as I am not the centre of those communities, just a part of them). Like my mum, I believe that it is a sad trend when communities break down and people stop caring about each other.
If we can nurture those communities online and give to them as much as we take, then our businesses and social lives will be so much better.
Warm regards,
Lisa
P.S. Still haven’t persuaded mum to Twitter – she says she does enough of that offline!
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